well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
