If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
