I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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