i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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