Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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