Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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