This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
