All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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