I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
