using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We are two peas in an std pod
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
