new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
