I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
