I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
