sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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