Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
