I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
