I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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