He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
