Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Randomize
