Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
