Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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