when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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