margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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