glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
