Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
