Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
