I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
