She is in my trunk
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
