Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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