He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
