Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
