she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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