I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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