We named our party play list daddy issues
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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