Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize