Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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