There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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