I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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