Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
