god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
