Just cropdusted the office
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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