i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
