grandma shit on top of the toilet
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
