so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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