Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
