Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
