I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
