sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
