i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
