he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
