I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
