I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
