Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
