Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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