If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize