your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
