Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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