Your face is a jimmy john
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize