she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
