I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed đ
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden sheâs a âbloggerâ?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with âHe misses youâ
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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