I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
