god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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